


I (won't) Love You

by petrichor3145



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, nonsensical, unfunny humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 07:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19313479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petrichor3145/pseuds/petrichor3145
Summary: House tries to change the nature of his relationship to Wilson, permanently.Unfortunately, the fact that it's April Fool's Day sort of gets in the way.





	I (won't) Love You

“Ideas?”

Three blank faces stare back at House.

Foreman clears his throat. “First off, this is a terrible idea.”

Chase and Cameron nod faintly in agreement.

“Second, this isn’t part of our job descriptions, and I have a hard time imagining you not understanding that.”

House hums in agreement. “Could you elaborate on the first part?” he asks, because he really isn’t a good person.

Foreman’s eyes flick briefly over to the dry erase board, where the words “I love you, Wilson - House” are scrawled messily in blue.

“I just really think he wouldn’t appreciate it, is all,” Cameron adds.

“Why not?”

The kids exchange tight-lipped glances, each unwilling to contribute to the conversation.

Eventually, House gets tired of the silence. “I understand that you all are uncomfortable because you think that being responsible for the outcome of your boss’s personal life could heavily impact your careers, but I assure you that the only direction you can go here is up. So speak.”

Chase springs to life, mouth working before he says, “Um, it’s just. It’s April Fool’s Day.”

“And?”

“And he might think you’re…” Chase grimaces. “Joking?”

“Isn’t that the point?” Foreman mutters to Chase, causing the younger man’s face to heat.

House smiles. “Isn’t it brilliant? It gives me the perfect out. ‘What’s that, Wilson? You’re not interested in my astonishingly good looks? It was all just a joke!’ Perfect, right?”

Foreman’s head jerks disbelievingly. “No. It’s not.”

“That might hurt his feelings, if he really likes you,” Cameron pipes up.

The other two give her amused looks. “Honestly, it’s a miracle Wilson hasn’t already given up on House,” Foreman informs her. “There’s no way he likes him.”

Chase shrugs, staring down at his hands, but his mouth quirks up a little in agreement. Cameron looks vaguely upset.

“Well then, why _hasn’t_ he given up on House? If he can’t stand him and all, why stick around?”

Chase shrugs again. “Weak will?”

House taps his cane once, drawing the three’s attention back to the whiteboard and their boss’s unreadable expression. “Well? What should I do?”

“Do it,” Cameron says, at the same time as Foreman says, “Don’t do it.”

House turns to Chase, who is chewing his lip in a way that suggests he wants to be far, far away from this discussion.

“Maybe write it down for him? Put it on his desk?”

House considers. “Coward’s move,” he says, but then continues, “but Wilson is a romantic. It might work.”

Swiftly, he flips the white board so it’s facing the wall and limps out of the room. And two hours later, at precisely eleven-fifty a.m., he places a meticulous message addressed to James Wilson which states only an “I love you,” and nothing else.

House waits until twelve to sneak over to Wilson’s office window in order to catch his reaction.

Lab coat peeking over the side, slightly visible but in a way House knows Wilson won’t notice, House peers through the window.

And Wilson is right where he should be, right at his desk in his cushy chair, holding the note above some important-seeming documents, and tears are rolling down his cheeks.

House opens the office door and strides inside. Wilson jumps, his eyes wider than sausage plates. “... House?”

“What are you doing?” House asks, pacing over to his friend’s desk and resting his elbow on his cane. His eyes never leave Wilson.

Wilson glances down at the papers and back at House again, mouth open and his confusion palpable.

“Nothing?”

House scoffs. “People are never doing nothing. Look at me, for example. I’m having a discussion with you, blinking, intermittently breathing, and moving thousands of muscles all at once. _You’re_ crying.”

Wilson huffs out a sigh. “I’m not in the mood for your games, House,” he says, reaching to scrub the tears from his eyes, but more just keep materializing.

“Really?” House asks. “You seem peachy to me.”

Wilson scoffs.

“What I want to know,” House continues, limping slowly around the desk, “is why you’re staring at the note I wrote and weeping.”

“I am not weeping!” Wilson protests.

“Yes you are.”

“Am not!”

“Oh, but you are.”

House swiftly extends a hand to the corner of Wilson’s eye and pulls just far enough away for his friend’s eyes to focus so he can see the proof firsthand.

Wilson jumps again, unpredictably, and gazes at the hand in wonderment. His face is flushed from crying, making his cheeks appear painfully raw.

“You were crying because of me,” House says in Wilson’s ear, voice low and surprised. Wilson’s head jerks to look at him.

“Why?”

Wilson shrugs, breaking eye contact. “Please, House, would you just let it alone?”

“No.”

Wilson chuckles, a little. “Of course,” he mutters under his breath, then says aloud, “Fine. I was crying because I lost my pet rabbit on this date when I was ten years old. Satisfied?”

House shakes his head. “Something about my note made you upset. Was it because you’re disgusted by me?”

Wilson smiles in incomprehension and shakes his head minutely. “House, what..?”

 

“That’s a no, then. Is it because --”

An epiphany strikes House’s features, a look which Wilson has seen during many, many occasions, and which never spells anything good for the young oncologist.

“No. No, it’s not,” Wilson tries, but a smile is already spreading across House’s lips.

“Yes it is. You can’t believe I’m in love with you because it’s April Fool’s Day. That upsets you.”

That’s it. He wants to punch this arrogant, cruel doctor straight across the jaw. Wilson’s office is not the approved room in this building for dissection.

House eases himself into the chair across from Wilson’s desk. His tears have dried, but Wilson is unsure if this is a good thing.

House tries again. “I love you.”

Tears well up in Wilson’s eyes and he has to look away. House looks absolutely fascinated.

“How do you do that?” he asks, prompting a withering glare from Wilson in return.

“Are my emotions a game to you?” he asks, because he deserves at least an iota of respect, but House is still staring at him with that awed look, and his voice stumbles halfway through.

House shakes his head and slowly, slowly lifts his hand back up to rest on Wilson’s face. The tears feel like a permanent fixture now, an annoyance that won’t be put to rest until he can be _absolutely sure_ this isn’t just another one of House’s jokes.

“No. I didn’t expect for you to…”

House gestures lamely at Wilson, suddenly and inexplicably awkward.

“Right. And you were gonna play this off as a joke.”

“Yes.”

Wilson gasps, though he knows he should have been expecting the answer.

“So you--”

 

“No. I wanted an out.”

“Right,” Wilson says with dawning comprehension, “and you were testing the waters by conveniently hovering outside my office and waiting for a reaction.”

He smiles indulgently, a look one might give a child, and House hesitates, wondering whether he’s been outsmarted.

“It’s okay,” Wilson assures, “to come right out and just say it.”

Now House is just plain confused, looking sharply to the left and then at Wilson again. “I did,” he says, with confidence.

“Nope,” Wilson says through his smile, “you were a coward. Just like me. I want you to come back here tomorrow and say it.”

“What? ‘I love you?’”

“Yeah,” Wilson answers easily, having sensed that he’s attained the upper hand here. He reaches out and covers House’s hand slowly with his own, to which the diagnostician flinches slightly.

“Say it,” he says lowly and clearly.

And he does. For every day after.

**Author's Note:**

> And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the product of six hours of sleep and no editing whatsoever! Also, I know I'm like a decade late to this fandom, but I just discovered it so whatever. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it regardless! These are my best words, so...
> 
> Side-note: Wilson outsmarting House is something I would kill to see actually happen in-show.


End file.
